


Breathe In, Live, Breathe Out

by IAmAshamedOfMyFanfics (faraandmera)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, College AU, Comfort, Gen, M/M, Panic Attacks, a coma happens (to a different person than has panic attacks), its for your own safety trust me, oh boooy this story, so some people start breathing with them heres a warning DO NOT, swearing happens a couple times, the words 'breath in' and 'breath out' are repeated a LOT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 13:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8579731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faraandmera/pseuds/IAmAshamedOfMyFanfics
Summary: The monotonous sound breathing led his life.Keep Breathing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this in September of 2014 so it's pretty old however I'm still proud of it.  
> At the time I wrote it i'd never had a panic or anxiety attack, however I've been told that they're not poorly described here, and my own minor attacks serve to make me think my descriptions here are okay.  
> Seriously don't breath with the story it is not a good.
> 
> Tumblr Version: iamashamedofmyfanfics.tumblr.com/post/97184556425/breathe-in-live-breathe-out

The pounding heartbeat filled his ears. He closed his eyes and took a quick breathe, all his breathes were quick. And shaky, he was shaking. The floor was cold against his arms too, too cold. Why was it so cold? It hurt. He was going to die, he knew he was going to die.

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.

He couldn’t remember which way was up and that only increased his feeling of danger. His breath quickened, he needed out of the room. Which way was out? He just wanted to be safe, he wasn’t _safe_ here.

“Baekhyun, I need you to listen to me. I’m going to help.” The soft voice reached him. He was sure he recognized it. He could listen, right?

“Breathe with me.” Breathe, he couldn’t _breathe_. “Breathe in.” Breathe, he tried, shakily to breathe in.

_5\. 4. 3. 2. 1._

“Now hold that breathe, okay?” Hold, hold his breathe, he could do that, he’d be okay.

_2\. 1._

“Now breathe out.” Out, breathe out. That’s right, he just had to breathe out.

_5\. 4. 3. 2. 1. 0._

“Breathe in again.” In, breathe in. Again.

_1\. 2. 3. 4. 5._

“Hold it.”

_1\. 2._

“Now out.”

_0\. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5._

“Good. Now with me,” Good, he was doing good, right? “Breathe in.”

“Breathe out.”

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in.

“Breathe out.” He could breathe, he could breathe. He’d be okay, right? He could breathe now.

His heart was no longer pounding in his head. That was good right?

“Keep breathing.” He had to, of course. If you stop breathing you die. Keep breathing. In, out.

He was safe, _right?_

He was tired. Weak. “Baekhyun?” He nodded, he thinks. “Can you move?”

“Mhm.” He tried to sit up, he just had to move away from the ground. It’s not that hard. He could do that. He was okay.

“Do you need any help?” A nod. “Is it okay if I help? I’ll have to grab your arm.”

“Okay.” It was okay, it’d be fine. He knew this person, they were safe. He was safe now, right? He’d be fine. Another nod. Hands were on his arm, gentle. They didn’t pull but guided. He was glad.

“Baekhyun, can you breathe?” A nod. “Do you think you can stand?” No, he can’t, his legs hurt. He doesn’t feel well. _Don’t be stupid._ A shake of the head.

“No.”

“We need to get you home, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Can I help you stand?” A nod. “And walk?” Another.

Walking was terrible. Completely terrible. He was glad when he was home, his bed was safe and soft and so warm.

 

“It happened again,” Baekhyun muttered, curled up in blankets and laying across his couch. The T.V. was on but turned down enough it was no more than slight background noise. A clock on the wall ticked away in a comforting rhythm.

“How do you feel?”

“Fine,” He was still muttering, and his friend hummed in acknowledgment, “now.”

“Want me to tell them you wont be in class today? _We_ wont.”

“Please.” Baekhyun yawned, pulling the blankets up further to cover the bottom half of his face. “We?”

“I was up pretty late yesterday, I’d probably fall asleep.”

“I’m sure the professor would love that.” Baekhyun smiled as Jongdae plopped onto the floor in front of the couch.

“Oh yeah, he’d love the excuse to throw something at my head.” The brunet grinned, holding a coffee cup over his shoulder to Baekhyun. “Tea?”

“Thanks.” Baekhyun freed his arms from the blankets to grab the warm cup, sitting up as he did so. “Oh, thanks for yesterday too, by the way.”

“What are best friends/boyfriends for?” Jongdae leaned his head back against where Baekhyun’s legs now hung over the couch. “You help me avoid… certain people and I help with that if it happens.”

“When.”

_“If.”_ He could almost feel Jongdae rolling his eyes. “Anyway, Disney movies?”

“Duh.”

 

“How’ve you been?”

Breathe in, Breathe out.

“Good.”

“Oh, and how’s Jongdae?”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“He’s well.”

“It’s been so long since you’ve brought him on one of your visits. You guys are still friends, right?”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Of course. He’s my best friend.”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“That’s good. You should bring him next ti-”

“I have to go.”

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breath in.

“Oh, okay. I love you.”

Breathe out. “I love you too, mom.”

“Bye sweetheart.”

“Bye. I’ll talk to you later.”

 

“My mom wants you to visit.”

Breathe in.

“I knew your mom loved me.” Jongdae grinned while Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Everyone does.”

Breathe out.

“Your ego is amazing.” Baekhyun grinned, leaning into the man seated next to him. Jongdae responded by wrapping an arm around him.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Don’t they?”

“Probably.”

 

Breathe in. “Mom, why are you here?” Breathe out.

“I can’t visit my son?”

“You can call first.” Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in.

“Oh don’t be like that. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“Right, come in.” Breathe out.

 

“Baekhyun! I’m home,” Jongdae called, practically skipping into their shared apartment. “Oh! Miss Byun. I didn’t know you were here.”

“I told you before to call me mother!” The woman waved him over to join their conservation as Jongdae bowed.

 

“Aw it was nice seeing you both. Goodbye.” His mother smiled, waving as she walked down the hall. It was probably more proper to walk her out of the building, but she insisted she was fine.

Breathe in. “It was nice to see you too!” Breathe out. “Be safe!”

 

“Baekhyun?” Breathe in.

“Yeah?” Breathe out.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

 

“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol chimed from the other side of the phone call. “You and- or- Jongdae wanna see a movie with the rest of us Saturday?”

“I don’t.” Baekhyun could almost hear him pouting. “You can ask Jongdae yourself, he’s not here right now.”

“Fine.”

 

“You’re not going?”

“And leave you all by yourself on a Saturday night?” Jongdae looked offended at the prospect. “Besides the movie didn’t sound all that interesting.”

 

“I love you.”

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe In. Breathe out.

“I love you too.”

Breathe in. “That’s good.” Breathe out.

Arm wrapped around him. Breathe in. “Yeah.” He clutched him.

“You okay?”

“Happy.”

“Baekhyun.”

“Yeah?”

“You aren’t breathing.” Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Yes I am.”

“Right.” Breathe in.

“You smell nice.” Breathe out. Laughter.

“I hope so, I did only just shower.”

“Your hair’s still wet.”

“I know.”

“It’s dripping on me.”

“Deal with it.”

“Jerk.” He smiled. Breathe in.

“But you still love me.” Breathe out.

“Shut up.”

 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. _Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out._

“Jongdae?”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Jongdae!”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Wake up!”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Jongdae! Please! Get up!”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Please.”

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

He couldn’t _breathe_.

 

“Baekhyun?” Breathe. “I’m sorry…”

Breathe In. Breathe Out. “He could still wake up.”

“Yeah, of course. He just needs to rest. He could…”

Breathe in. “Yeah. Yeah He’ll wake up.” Breathe out.

 

“…Six months…Still…Might not…” Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. _Breathe._

“Baekhyun? You should go home and get some rest.”

“Yeah.”

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

 

“Baekhyun, we have to be honest with you. He might not wake up.”

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in.

“I- I know but…”

Breathe out. Breathe out. Breathe out.

“Baekhyun?” Breathe in.

“I have to go.” Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe.

 

“Did you want to stay with us? I can’t imagine you enjoy staying there…by yourself.”

Breathe in. Breathe. Breathe.

“I’m fine.”

Breathe out. Breathe out. Breathe out. Breathe.

 

“Please wake up. Please.”

Breathe in. Breathe out. Clutch the blankets at Jongdaes’ side.

“Please.” Breathe in. Sob. Breathe out. Breathe. Breathe.

 

Breathe in. Ringing. Breathe out. Answer.

“Hello?”

“Baekhyun! He woke up!”

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

“Really?! I’m on my way!”

 

“Hey Baekhy- oh.” Jongdae smiled down at where Baekhyun was desperately holding onto his torso.

“Good morning.”

“It’s afternoon.”

“Don’t be an asshole.”

“Miss me?”

“Duh.”

“Okay but if you keep holding onto me like that I can’t breathe.” He loosened his grip but didn’t let go.

“Better?”

“That works, yeah.”

Breathe.


End file.
